Monday, June 27, 2016

Losing Someone You Love

It has been almost a month since I have felt like posting anything on my blog. As most of you know that I had a death in my family a little over a month ago. And I have been having a hard time here by myself just trying to get back into living life again.. And coming up with blog posts ideas that people would actually want to read.. my creativity has been put on hold.. It's hard to be in a positive mindset and not let my grief over take me.. So this is one way I am trying to heal & go on with my life...

So I have decided to write up this blog post dedicated to my lost loved one.. To help celebrate his life and to make kinda like a memorial page just dedicated to him.. And my love for him.. He was such a great person and he really did affect my life more than he probably knew himself. I wish I would have took the time and slowed down with my dreams & aspirations to tell him exactly how much I appreciated him just being there to talk to me and being there to believe in me!!

Anyways, so this post is dedicated to my boyfriend ( might as well say husband even tho legally we weren't married) of 6 years.. His name was Stephen Kirk Davis.. But everyone called him Kirk. He was 49 years old. And he was a diabetic from the age of 18.. I watched him go thru so much dealing with his diabetes and other health issues he had. But even tho he had health issues, he always lived life on HIS terms. He was the type of person that you couldn't help but smile at. The type of person that would be there if you needed help with anything. He was one of those people that come into your life that leaves a lasting impression on you even after they are gone. I will never forget him as long as I live..

He told me he loved me a thousand times a day.. I think he knew that he wasn't going to be around much longer.. So he wanted to make sure that I knew without a shadow of a doubt how much he loved me.. And you know what? I do know how much he loved me..


 Life is funny the way it works out sometimes.. I guess I was in denial about just how bad of health he was in.. And how much of a toll the diabetes had taken on his body.. Even tho I knew he was in bad health, it still shocked me to find him gone..

 I wouldn't wish diabetes on my worst enemy. It is a slow killer.. There were days when he was feeling great and could actually get out and do his woodworking and work at his hobbies.. and of course help anyone around the little neighborhood that we live in.. and then there were days when he couldn't make himself get off the couch. When all he wanted to do was just sleep..

 Death is not prejudice in who it takes.. You never know if you will be here tomorrow. So please try to make the most of the life that you have now.. And be sure to tell all the people in your life just how much they mean to you.. That is one thing that I am def going to start doing more.. Is making sure without a shadow of a doubt that my family and friends KNOW just how much they mean to me..

                       (I don't know who wrote this poem.. My friend Sandra made this for me.)

She also made this for me too.. It really meant a lot to me how my family at work came together and helped me and was just there for me when I needed them..

Here are some pics of woodworking stuff that Kirk liked to make.. He loved making things with his hands.. And he was a great guitar player.. He played his guitar at least once a day if not more. He loved music.. That was one difference that we had.. He was such an outgoing person, wheras I'm an introvert.. He didn't understand my need for blogging.. He didn't realize how much it meant to me.. He just thought I was on the computer talking to other people all of the time.. I wish he could see what I was trying to tell him all this time.. that THIS (blogging) is my creative outlet.. As music and woodworking and things like that were his..

Anyways, here are some pics of some of the cute lil things that he made.. I had more but I gave them to his family when they came to get his stuff out of our house..

Here's a cute flower pot he made me a long time ago.. And also a bench he made that I use for our entryway.. I use it to hold our shoes when we come thru the front door.. I made the afghan that is on top of it..

As you can see he loved making things with his hands.. And could make or fix just about anything that needed fixen.. But there was so much more to him.. He was one of those people that never knew a stranger.. He had so many friends.. He touched so many lives.. And he left an empty place in my heart that will never be filled until we see each other again.. He was just a kind, compassionate, warm, and loving human being.. And there will never be another like him.. He was a son, brother,  father, grandfather, & my love.. And I miss him everyday.. Here's a pic of him loving his grandbaby that he was so proud of..
So Kirk, this page is dedicated to you..  I know it's not much.. But maybe it's my way of showing the world what a special person you were.. The kind of person that anyone would be lucky to have in there life.. And I am so grateful that I was lucky enough to have you in my life, even if it was just for a little while.. I will love you forever... No one will ever take your place. You are in my heart always..
Please stop what you are doing today.. And tell the people that mean the most to you, just how much you love them.. Let them know how much they mean to you.. Show them! We are not promised a tomorrow.. Don't leave things unsaid.. There are so many things that I wish I would have gotten to say to Kirk before he passed.. And now I just have to speak them out-loud and hope he hears me. But I think he does.. Because although his death was devastating to me, I know that his SPIRIT has been set free!! And that he is happy and healthy.. And basking in the love of the Lord.. One day I will join him there! Until then, well I guess I will have to go on living life.. And trying my best not to take it for granted each and every day!!
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post.. I hope in some small way it might help someone.. It's hard to say all the things that I want to say.. But I think I have said enough for now..
As always,